The Maturity of a 3 Year Old...

I learned an important lesson tonight from my three year old.  Let me first give you a little background about her.  Auburn has a long, slender "green bean" build, blond hair (often matted up in the back!), smiley blue eyes, rosy cheeks and a button nose.  I must admit that underneath all that sparkle of a personality is a little pistol!  She can be like a fussy water faucet. You just never know what is gonna come out of that girl...hot, warm or cold!  Some days she likes the simple things in life like; muffins, apples and raisins...the very next day it is smoked oysters, shrimp and calamari!  On Sunday's, she will wear fancy hair bows and on Monday it's a stained up t-shirt and a high-water jeans! 

As I home school her older siblings, I can find her happily in her bedroom for hours playing dolls, pet shop or coloring.  She can completely entertain herself, because she knows exactly what she wants and how it should be done correctly!!!  The truth about sweet, little, adoring Auburn is that she does a wonderful job of being the boss!  It makes her skin crawl when other people stomp on her playing ground!  For example; touch her toys, move her blankets, sleep on her bed, mess with her hair or change the rules of "her"game.  That selfish nature becomes a monster if it is not properly disciplined!

So the important life lesson I came to grips with tonight is that, I AM JUST LIKE AUBURN!  I can be a fun-loving and a carefree spirit that happily goes about my business, until someone or something gets in my way!  Oh my...  what a humbling thing to realize!  I have the maturity of a three year old!  Just like she is screaming because she didn't get the "bigger" half... I am cringing because I didn't get the better deal!  Just like she is crying because she isn't sitting in the front seat, I am complaining because I don't have control in a particular situation.  Just like she is fighting with her siblings over a silly toy, I have an inward battle of not getting things my way!  As I painfully dealt with my third child's bi-polar personality this weekend, I was awakened to a new level of self-awareness and God-awareness! 

If I am in my world, where I can be the boss, be in control, spend my time doing what I want...I am happy.  And then a few seconds later it changes.  I am like that fussy, whining, un-happy preschooler who feels emotional about every "little" situation.    WOW!  How pitiful the truth of my sin is!  And then there is God, a  loving Father constantly dealing with my yucky behavior and loving me through it!  He allows me to make bad decisions and face the consequences, because He knows I will learn from them!  God knows that by disciplining me, He is making me a better wife, friend and parent.  He patiently loves me in the midst of my tempers!  He has a tough-love for me.  He doesn't let me get away with my self-absorption!  He keeps turning me back to Him, helping me to obey and follow His gentle lead.

So I thank God for revealing this truth to me.  We are all like toddlers, constantly wanting more...more...more...unhappy with our end of the bargain.  And God comes over to us and says, "NO.  That is enough.  Be happy with what you have."  I tell my kids this all the time, "You get what you get and don't throw a fit".  Now if only I would listen to that same phrase!

So This Is What A Brother Is Like???

I grew up in a family with two sisters.  We always did "girl stuff", like painting each other's nails, sharing clothes, making crafts like beaded bracelets, doing make-overs and playing orphanage with our baby dolls.  I think the closest thing to playing rough was riding our bikes in the neighborhood and fishing for crawdads in the stream across the street.  

My dad got so used to being around us emotional gals that he now has a big, soft, sweet and sensitive heart!   I remember him getting teary-eyed when we watched the movie, "Bambi".  I wouldn't change my childhood for anything!  I love sisters!  I don't know life any other way.  I never experienced what having a brother would be like.  I remember wondering, but never really knowing the truth of a brother-sister relationship . And well...now I can kind of imagine!  Let me explain....

We have only one son in the midst of three girls.  He is  Austin.  His name means, "passionate and fiery"!  His name says it all!  As an infant... he screamed a lot.  As a toddler...he did everything I told him NOT TO DO or NOT TO TOUCH!  As a preschooler, he never liked coloring or sitting in one spot for more than one minute.  And now, as a five year old, he has discovered the art of pestering girls until they cry!  When he found out that we were adopting another girl, all his dreams were crushed.  He had a bed made next to his car bed for 1 year, as he awaited a little brother.  He was just sure that God would want him to have a brother!  Well, as you know, Avalon is not a boy!  Yes, she is a she!  From the moment he found out this devastating news, he wanted nothing to do with her.  When Erik and I brought his new baby sister home from the hospital, he took Nana aside and said, "I am very upset!  I did not want another sister!"  He turned away with a sad face and left the front room, where everyone else greeted her. One day later, his hardened heart melted, as he held Avalon in his arms... for the first time.  He then said sweetly, "We can keep her mom, I like her now.  And I like her name."  He then fell asleep with her in his lap.

In spite of Austin and Avalon's bumpy beginning.  They are buddies.  No one can make her smile more than her big brother, Austin.  He is the one who sits next to her in the back seat of the car and feeds her the bottle.  He is the one who sings songs to her, while trying to calm her down in the car.  He is the one who rubs her bare feet and whispers into her ears,  "Avalon...hi Avalon...hi baby..." It is Austin who can get the biggest smiles and loudest laughter from his sissy!

So I may never relate to Aspen or Auburn when they say, "Mom, help me!  Austin keeps bothering me!"  "Mommy,  make him stop chasing me!"  "Mommy, tell him to stop shooting me!" I never had a brother to rough house with or wrestle.  I never had a brother to throw balls at my head, or steal my food -when I wasn't looking, or jump on me -while I am sleeping, or poke me -while doing school work. 

But... now I have a son.  I get it now!  BOYS ARE CRAZY!  (Austin is eating dog food in the kitchen, as I am writing this blog now!)  He just got Erik's golf clubs out of the closet and is attempting to golf in the hallway.  He break dances in the front room to the band, "Skillet".  He make guns, plays with swords, jumps from the couch onto 10 pillows on the floor, eats as many bananas as he can fit in his mouth at one time.  He does head-stands, hula-hoops for the number 500, does pogo stick tricks, skateboard jumps, extreme scooter riding and loves to burn the tar out of marshmallow's at campfires!  That is what having a brother is like!  No thanks!  I am happy with sisters! 

 But it sure is fun raising a boy!  I get the great honor of molding and shaping his passionate, fiery heart into a man!  I get to help him learn how to balance out his wild personality into a brother who loves and protects his sisters...and one day... his wife.

"For because of our faith, He has brought us into this place of highest privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to actually becoming all that God has in mind for us to be."  Romans 5:2

The Truth About Adoption

In my last blog, I spoke about the process of our adoption.  There is so much more to be said about what the word "adoption" truely means.  With my other 3 natural born children, I never had to stand in front of a judge and witnesses to publicly promise or vow  to love and protect my adopted baby girl.  Before Avalon, I never signed papers that declared that I was indeed to act as a parent should! Did you know that your natural born children can legally divorce you if they chose too, but an adopted child cannot divorce you?   It is almost as though I have more authority over adoption than the other way around. It really got me thinking and studying about the reality of you and me as God's children.  "...we should behave like God's very own children adopted into the bosom of his family, and calling to him, "Father, Father".  Romans 8:13

That's right, you and me are adopted into God's family if ..."You tell others with your own mouth that Jesus Christ is your Lord and believe in your own heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is by believing in his heart that a man becomes right with God; and with his mouth he tells others of his faith, confirming his salvation...ANYONE who CALLS UPON THE NAME OF THE LORD WILL BE SAVED"!    And this sums it up best..... "But to all who received Him (Jesus), he gave the right to become children of God."  John 1:12.

Now... with these scriptures in the back of my mind, I experience God's love in a completely new way!  As I rock my baby girl, bath her (as she screams), rub lotion all over her soft skin, feed her green peas and play silly with her...I feel God's love towards me.  God CHOSE ME to be HIS CHILD!  He adopted ME into His family! 

And... we chose Avalon!  Regardless of her skin color being different than ours, regardless of the mistakes she will make in her life, regardless of her family health history, regardless of her family circumstances.  We still chose her!  And she is beautiful. She is beautiful, because God made her!  The same is true for you and me.  God chose us!  Regardless of our skin color, regardless of how we treat others, regardless of our sinful nature, regardless of our mistakes.  HE STILL CHOSE US and we are BEAUTIFUL!  He made us perfect in HIS image! 

So...next time you hold your baby, or tickle your grandchild, remember that the love you feel towards him or her is just a small, sweet taste of the love God has for you. May all of my children be a constant reminder of how God thinks of me.  I love them, even when they do wrong and I don't love them more, when they do right.  I love them the same ...regardless, just as God loves us regardless! 

And with that...Leave your computer with this truth upon your heart.  Let it sink deep in your soul... "GOD'S unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by sending Jesus Christ to die for us.  And he did this because  HE WANTED TO!"  Ephesians 1:5

Our Chocolate Covered Cherry

Getting to know our little baby girl, Avalon has been one of the most thrilling, emotional, joyous and adventurous experiences we have gone through as a family.  We always knew our family was incomplete.  God had placed the desire to adopt in our hearts long, long ago, before we even started having children.  Then God brought our sweet third baby girl to us on March 8th of this year!  Overall, we are amazed at how easy the adoption process was!  We were expecting a lot of drama!  Over two years ago, when we started the process, I remember feeling completely overwhelmed by all the paperwork and interviews!  How do you know what to check yes or no to, when it comes to accepting a child into your family?!  Do we really even have the right to check yes or no?  We never did that with our three natural born children.  Only God can determine what is best for the Cherry Family.  Right?  Anyway...we left the options wide open...boy or girl....white...black....brown....yellow...health problems....behavior problems....drug exposed....curly hair.....straight hair...brown, green, blue eyes....whatever.....  We said we would take whomever needed a safe, loving home to be a part of our family!  Our only criteria was that he/she had to be 0-3 years of age.

Eighteen months after all the foster care licensing paperwork, interviews, medical exams, home inspections and classroom time...we finally received an phone call.

We waited for what seemed like an eternity to get "the phone call" from social services!  I will never forget it as long as I live!  The rain poured down on our truck as we drove down the Ramona Expressway.  The sun was warm and bright and a beautiful 1/2 rainbow shined above us!  And then..."Is this Erik Cherry?  Hello, this is _____ from Riverside Adoptions Unit of  Social Services.  We have an African-American baby girl who was just born.  Her parents are giving her up and terminating all rights as parents.  Are you interested?...  The birth mother would like to pick the family.  Can we show her your file?...."   The next day we were at the hospital picking up our newest addition to the family!  There she lay, fast asleep, peaceful, warm, soft, tiny 5lbs 7 ounces.  10 toes, 10 fingers, light brown skin, dark mocha hair.  The nurses named her "Baby Faith", while they awaited a family to pick her up.  They were sure that she would find the right family made just for her!  And they were right!  God brought her to us!  We cuddled her, embraced her fragile body and walked out of the hospital with OUR baby (who had a secret name that the county gave her for paperwork purposes).  But we still called her Avalon.  Because that was her real name!  If she was going to be a sibling to the other 3 "A names" of the family...she needed an "A- city name" too!  It would take pages and pages to write about the emotions involved in bringing Avalon home.  So today I will leave you with this thought..."The Lord said to me, "I knew you before you were formed within your mother's womb; before you were born I sanctified you and appointed you as my spokesman to the world!"  Jeremiah 1:4