A Roller Coaster Ride of "Good News vs. Bad News"

Many days are like a repeat of themselves, just disguised in different ways.  The series of events may differ from one day to the next, but the emotions that come with them are the same.  It amazes me how many feelings I can experience in just one day!  In a matter of a few minutes, I can be a jumping bean full of life, excitement and happiness...then those feelings may fade away and a sadness or frustration creeps its way in.  The mind...one of the toughest battle grounds there is.  It's a war that's constantly fighting between surrender or victory, death or survival.  One minute it conquers and wins...the next it falls to the ground, taken by a rather large arrow... straight to the heart.

In my one hour drive back home today,  I was flooded by a sea of emotions that I was trying to understand.  I was trying to make sense of it all.  The reality is this; "good news" feels great!  And "bad news"...feels terrible!  I was processing really good news and really bad news at the same time.  How is that possible?  As we drove down a beautiful country road, surrounded by green pastures and mooing cows...I was so engaged in the beauty around me.  Going 35mph in a 55mph didn't seem to bother me one bit.  I was lost in God's creation. 

Then back to reality...My one year old is screaming her little head off.  It was one of those cries that actually hurts your ear drums and causes great pain to endure.  I passed back the bottle to her and it was chucked back to me in pure rage!  She was furious that I would try to pacify her with milk, instead of rescuing her from a "death trap" aka "the car seat".  I gave up on the idea of trying to help her.  Forget the distraught baby...back to my thoughts.  Then I hear from the rear seat, "Mom, I am  sooooo  thirsty."  I managed to pass back the super-sized-ice-cold water for my daughter.  Then of course...the entire cup falls onto the floor, the baby and the sleeping six year old brother!  Now everyone is crying!  The water is gone and everyone is wet.  (Go figure!) 

I escaped back into my thoughts. I ponder the good news.  Then back to the bad news.  Back and fourth.  It was like I was on a roller coaster ride.  I was feeling motion sickness from all the ups and downs...highs and lows...good news...bad news....Ughhhh!  And yet again, another interruption from the wet, awoken, upset brother in the rear seat. "Mom, (with tears) please help me!  I gotta go potty right now!  I can't hold it!  It's coming out!"  I pulled over quickly to the brick wall next to me.  Too late...I was too late!  He had already relieved himself!  I pulled over anyway and made him get out to finish what he started.  Then on the road again.  Back to the ongoing-always-interrupted "war" in my mind.  Good news...bad news... (here we go again!)

We arrive home. The house is full of moving boxes, a dog who keeps barking with excitement at the return of his family.  The fridge has no food, the kids are tired, the baby needs mommy and the answering machine plays back too many messages to comprehend. All I can muster up to do: sit at the computer and blog.  I gotta get my thoughts on paper.  There are way too many things happening at one time.  I hit the "pause" button on my bi-polar thought life and pull out the yellow sticky note in my back pocket.  It reads, ..."But he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered."  Proverbs 28:25.  I needed that reminder today.

Whether it's good news or bad news...I can trust that God is in control and nothing can happen to me or my family without it first being filtered through Him.  So now I finish my day with a  settled mind.  My "war" is over.  I will choose to put the "good and bad news" in God's hands.

BREAKTHROUGH

I write this to you, who are weary of prayer.  To you, who used to believe in the power of prayer and now are not so sure.  To you, who believe in God, but are frustrated with how you pray and seem to feel as though God has forgotten you.  To you dear friend, I write.  God has not forgotten you.  I am a witness of that!  I can stand before you today and say,"God has heard my prayers!  God has lifted my head to look up and see how the impossible is possible!"  To you my friend, I say PRAY.  Pray to our great God who loves you, has purpose in all things, has a reason for your trial, has understanding where you lack, has victory when it feels hopeless.  For it is when you pray... that one day you will be able to shout, "BREAKTHROUGH!" 

I love that word.  It means that it finally has happened!  It is a word that shouts out "CELEBRATE!"  It represents change for the better. 

What was once...is no more.  What was in desperate need of rescue, has been saved!  What was broken is now in the process of healing!  What was lost, is found!

The wall is broken down!  The barrier is shattered to pieces!  The battle has been won!  The fight is over!  We can now move forward!

Breakthrough.

Someone that I love has had a recent breakthrough!  Someone special to me has been broken, now  to be made stronger!  Someone that I have prayed for over and over again, has had the chains removed from a life of slavery.  The slavery of perfection... yet never perfect.  The slavery of expectations...yet never meeting the need.  The slavery of routine...yet missing the mark.  The slavery of waking and sleeping, yet never feeling rested.  The slavery of demands and deadlines put on by self.  The slave has been set free.  Free to live the life that God  intended.  Someone that I love has just had a breakthrough!

I am so glad that I kept praying.  When it felt like a dead end, I am so glad I did not quit praying.  I am so glad that through many years of tears and grief for this person, I kept praying.  Sometimes I felt like God was absent.   I would ask..."When I beg You to bring healing...Where are you God ?
 Why aren't you listening to me, God?" 

And now I see so clearly.  Sometimes... many long, hard years have to happen in order for breakthrough to occur.  Sometimes the worst has to happen, before it can be better.  Now I understand that trials really do have purpose.  It is only through fire, that gold can be made so pure.  Now I see that God's silence to us, doesn't mean His absence.  His silence demands we live by faith.  For it is faith that can move mountains!  And when the mountains are moved, we can see the breathtaking view! 
And then something amazing happens...
BREAKTHROUGH!!!

Matthew 17:20 
  He (Jesus) replied, “...Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”