What Does Extreme Sports and LOVE have in common?

I married an extreme sports guy.  No...not a football fan, or soccer or baseball or even basketball kind of guy.  Team sports aren't his thing.  He is into anything that goes super fast and requires being fearless!  It's more like racing cars, off-roading, dirt-biking, down-hill mountain biking, motorcycle riding on the race tracks, learning to fly airplanes, snowboarding and skiing.  While I was dating him, I thought this extreme sports stuff was super hot!  11 years and 4 kids later, I think he is absolutely crazy!  I fear for his life! And now our son is turning out to be just like his daddy!  I will never hold the "soccer mom" title. Nope...I will be the mom of a extreme-adrenaline-rush kind of boy, who is always in the ER for broken bones!  I am sure that the hospital staff will know us by name!  So, let me explain where I am going with this...

Have you ever read the marriage book, "His Needs, Her Needs"?  Well,  I have.  Erik and I studied the book many years ago.  One of the chapters I will never forget is about the importance of  "recreational companionship".  That long title basically means...joining in on the fun with your spouse!   Do what he loves!  If he likes talking politics, do it!  If he likes playing golf, go to the driving range with him.  If he wants to play cards...go grab a deck of cards.  I am in BIG TROUBLE!  My husband doesn't like the easy stuff....He prefers getting greasy under cars and racing down the slopes of mountains!  OH NO!!!! What am I to do?!!!  Can't we just sip coffee and go jogging together?  That is more my style!

For 10 years, we did "Rachel's version of recreational companionship".  My loving hubby sat with me at restaurants, went with me to coffee shops and ran around for thrift store adventures.  He did this to fill up my love tank. I was on "FULL"a lot!  He is so sweet to love me the way I need to be loved.  But something was missing.  I was not loving him with the "Erik version of recreational companionship".  Why?  Because of my fear!  I have always been afraid to try the "unknown".  Going fast and falling doesn't sound like much fun to me.  I always told him to do that stuff with the guys, not me.

Over the last decade of our life together as the Cherry couple, we have witnessed hand fulls of friends go through divorces.  People I love and trust have split up.  My heart has been crushed time and time again seeing others lose their "happily-ever-afters".  We have seen  broken marriages from  affairs, boredom, pornography, selfishness....the list goes on.  After talking with a dear friend of mine, who lost her husband. I have been challenged beyond words.  I have realized my own selfishness in not loving my husband the way that he needs me to love him.  Making him lunches, doing his laundry and sending sweet text messages can only go so far.  I have got to love him enough to overcome my selfishness!  I have got to love him, like it's my last days on this earth! 
So what does that look like for me...????
It means this.
~ATTEMPTING TO SNOWBOARD, AND FALLING 100 TIMES, AS I SLIDE DOWN FROZEN WATER WITH MY HAIR FLYING IN MY MOUTH, AND THE LOOK OF DEATH  WRITTEN ACROSS MY FACE WHILE I SPEED DOWN  BUNNY SLOPES ON MY BACKSIDE!  But it also means, seeing a huge smile on his face because he is so proud of me for doing my best. And letting him cheer me on, pick me up, be my hero to the rescue and wipe the snow off my face and say, "Good job babe, way to go, you are doing great"!
It also means...
~RIDING A HANGING CHAIR-LIFT TO THE TOP OF A STEEP MOUNTAIN AND PEDALING OVER ROCKS AND BUSHES ON A MOUNTAIN BIKE, JUMPING OVER HILLS, EATING DUST, SCREAMING IN TERROR AND DELIGHT!  But it also means, looking over at my husband to see the light in his eyes as he watches me try.  I loved the look on his face after our first mountain biking trip.  He had the same look, as when he first laid eyes on me.  He didn't have to say, "I love you, babe".  His face said it all.  He was falling in love with me more that day!

So I am learning that love looks different to all people.  Love, for some folks it's a simple cup of coffee, or washing dishes, or watching the game on TV.  For me it's not that easy.  One of the most important relationships I can ever have is with my husband.  If I continue to go through life doing what I want,  I am the one who ultimately suffers.  Living too comfortably gets me into trouble.  Loving my husband the way I want to...is just plain selfish and foolish.  I must speak his love language.  I must crawl out of my own skin and into his.  I must enter his world.  I must support him in his dreams.  I must live life with him! I must overcome my fear of extreme sports. I will learn to talk car talk.  I will not be afraid to fly in his airplane, (if he gets his pilot's license).  I will jump into snowboard boots and hit the slopes.  Someone asked me the other day, "If he loves you, why does he want you to do something you are afraid of"?  My reply, "I won't let my fear stop me anymore.  Love is way more important than fear.  He has bent over backwards for me.  Now it's my turn"!

Marriage is fragile.  Handle it with care.  Stepping outside my world and into his...has brought us more laughter, more hugs, more memories, more smiles and more conversation than staying in my own world.  It has brought me joy!